so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
