If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
