i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
