Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
