my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I got inside last night via doggy door
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
