did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
