Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
