That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
