k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
