Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
