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she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
