Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The adults are the big ones right?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
