i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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