Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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