As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
