HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
