I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
