oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
