I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize