I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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