She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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