Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
