he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
