Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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