Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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