Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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