Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
