He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I need moral support for this bender
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i now understand why vodka
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
