Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
