I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
