Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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