found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
