it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
