So drunk its hurt
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do herpes really smell.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
