i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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