a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
