Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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