Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
