I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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