Non-Jews are for practice
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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