You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
