He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
