he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
