matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
