$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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