the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
