Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
