Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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