this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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