Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think your dad took our porno
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
