I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
