By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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