Your tits are I can't wait for
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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