I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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