: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize