Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
