i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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