I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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