So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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