So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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