I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
