I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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