I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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