I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
jump out the window naked night went bad
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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