So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
